As part of my Anti-Resume, I want to make it clear that I’ll never work at a chicken farm or wring or chop chicken necks for a living. I don’t know how chickens are treated in a chicken factory/farm. I’d prefer to be an egg collector over a chicken killer. I have collected eggs, so I have some experience in egg collection.
This rooster crows at daybreak. I hated hearing him crow and seeing the night turn to morning. Sleeping was such a problem for me and the rooster did not help matters. He reminded me I hadn’t slept. He didn’t wake me up to a bright new morning or fresh eggs or bacon or toast or orange juice. He reminded me I was strung out on a caffeine high from Coca-Cola and burnt out on nicotine from cigarettes and not sleeping. I was reminded I’m a zombie when I heard the rooster crow at 5am and I was still playing World of Warcraft.
I never saw the rooster. He was in a homemade chicken coop covered with a blue plastic tarp in my neighbor’s backyard. I hated my neighbor too for keeping a rooster.
Today is the Vernal Equinox and it’s not surprising that the rooster and chickens are strolling in my back driveway where I live.
This funny looking white chicken is one of the rooster’s concubine! I don’t hate her since all she seems to do is peck and make slightly annoying chicken sounds looking for a bug or worm in the grass and dirt. She reminds me of a bunny-chicken with her fluffy white feathers.
Only a demon possessed chicken could turn his head around like that, (like the girl in the Exorcist movie) and scratch his own back with his beak like he does. Rooster is possessive of those chickens. He has spurs on his ankles and I don’t know if he would attack me if I threw a rock at him for crowing all those times I tried to go to sleep when he was trying to wake everyone up .
I’ve seen a person swing a rooster by the neck in the air and how the neck stretches like a rubber band and kills the rooster. I’ve also seen how to pluck a rooster’s feathers after dipping a dead rooster into a pot of boiling water over an outdoor fire. Chicken-n-dumplings are pretty good.
- I just personally don’t want to wring chicken necks for a living.
- I don’t know how to keep barnyard animals happy in the city.
- I will never be a veterinarian.
- I will never work for the SPCA.
- I don’t know anything about the science of chickens or supplying the market with chickens like Perdue does.
- I never wanted to work at Kentucky Fried Chicken.